Re:Creation
by i-Brows
Summary: Lukas experiences emptiness after a loss. And he will do everything in his power to regain what he has lost. The only way to reclaim what was once lost must be paid for.
1. Chapter 1: Re:alisation

Lukas dropped his pen. He hovered a hand over his mouth and let out a long yawn, a few tears forming at the edges of his eyes. He wiped them with his sleeve then peered down at the many papers littered with notes he had written and sighed, leaning back on his chair. He stared at the ceiling for a while before his eyes drooped down shut. They felt heavy. So heavy that it felt impossible to lift them open again.

_I guess that's what I get for working all night..._

The morning was peaceful. No birds uttered any chirping nor was there wind. It was perfectly quiet...

It was perfectly... quiet.

Perfectly...

Then came stammered and boisterous stomping that was escalating to Lukas's room. Perfect. Just what he needed. A damned disturbance.

The door swung open and the intruder barged inside. Lukas stood up abruptly and grabbed one of the books that settled on his desk and threw it at the intruder. A shriek and curse was heard. Lukas glanced over his shoulder with eyes holding anger towards the curled-up figure on the floor.

"What do you want, Mathias?" Lukas questioned.

The intruder, Mathias, rubbed the area where the book had struck him.

"Damn Luke! You could have thrown a smaller or thinner book..." he whined while groaning.

Lukas rolled his eyes. "You could learn something here. It's not my fault. One of these days it probably won't be you."

Mathias stopped and looked up, his expression of pain evolving to an expression of horror, "Don't say that Luke! That's not going to happen!"

Lukas blinked then turned away. "You never know.." he murmured.

Mathias frowned as he stood up from floor and he placed his hand on Lukas's shoulder, "Hey. Listen to me."

Lukas grimaced but he turned his head to face the other. "What?"

Mathias slowly smiled, "I'm not going to let anything bad happen, okay? Don't even think about that kind of stuff."

_"The only way for him to shut up is to go along with it..." _Lukas thought as he stared at the other.

"Fine. I believe you." he said in a dull tone.

Mathias's expression morphed to a very serious and bold look, "Lukas."

Lukas's eyes narrowed a bit. Mathias never used his actual name without tweaking with the name itself. He never used his quintessence of his name. Lukas knew, along with the expression, that the other wasn't playing around. At all.

"Y-Yeah?" Lukas stuttered, grimacing afterward at how 'pathetic' he sounded.

Mathias disregarded it and moved on, "I swear it. I'm not going to let anything happen. I won't let anything happen to you, or to our family. Got it?"

Lukas moved his gaze downward towards their feet, for he couldn't look Mathias in the eyes. Mathias's eyes softened a bit, "Lukas. Look at me. Look at me and agree. I won't let you down. I promise. So don't think like that anymore, okay?"

Lukas slowly shifted his eyes back to Mathias, nodding. Mathias smiled in relief. "Alright. Now..." Mathias unlatched his hand from Lukas's shoulder and wrapped his arm around him, grinning. "Ber, Pete, and Tino are coming over soon! Let's go drinking once they come over!"

Lukas blinked and frowned, "Tino isn't going to let Peter drink."

Mathias snickered, "He can just have orange juice or something."

Lukas rolled his eyes and heard a loud, chipper voice, "Hey Lukas! We're here! Is Mathias here?"

Another voice. This one was child-like, "I'm hungry...~"

Yet another one. This one was considerably deep, "Be patient, Peter."

Lukas blinked then glared at Mathias. "How were they able to get in?"

Mathias has a crooked smile and his eyes darted away from the other pair, "Well, um, I don't really know..." Mathias turned and sped off out of Lukas's room and scrambled down the stairs. Lukas ran a hand through his hair and sighed in an irritated manner as he followed slowly. Mathias stopped as he made it down the steps, spotting three figures, one taller than him and two smaller than him. The tall one had square and non-rimmed glasses. He had an expression that seemed nonchalant to anything. The second tallest of the three, who was really short in stature, had an innocent look on his face. He smiled when he saw Mathias. The third tallest, a child, was standing in between both figures, waving at Mathias.

"Hey, Uncle Mathias! How have you been?" the child called out as he ran towards Mathias.

Mathias smiled warmly and patted the child's head, "Hey Pete. Everything's good."

The child, who's real name is Peter, returned the smile. The short male that stood close to the silent one stepped in and said, "Where's Lukas? Is he not here?"

Mathias glanced at the stairway. "Huh? I thought he was coming down.." he muttered. He turned back to the short-statured man and sighed, "He's here. I'll bring him down, Tino."

Tino blinked then smiled awkwardly, "Okay. Thank Mathias." He turned to the tall, poker-faced man next to him, "Berwald, let's take a seat," he glanced at Peter, "Peter, you too." Peter whined but obeyed.

Mathias jogged towards the stairs, stopping half-way as he found Lukas standing at the top with a dark look of anger, causing Mathias to regret his decision of looking for him. Mathias swallowed hard, shuddering a bit, "H-Hey Luke... What are you doing up there?" he spoke out as if Lukas was a child. The other stared down at him, not amused.

"You left the door open again, didn't you?" Lukas muttered. Mathias laughed nervously.

"U-Um... At least it was Tino and the others! Right?"

Lukas stared at him for a while longer before descending down the stairs. Mathias cringed, preparing for a blow to the head or some strike of pain from the other as he closed his eyes.

_Step._

_Step._

_Step..._

_Silence._

Mathias opened his eyes slowly, finding Lukas immediately since the other was near his face, causing Mathias to shriek and tumble down the few steps of the staircase. Lukas just sighed and walked past him, slightly waving to the three guests when his eyes met them. They waved back, Tino and Peter having a hint of worry on their faces while Berwald still lacked expression.

Tino spoke first, "Hello Lukas... Sorry to drop in on such a short notice! You're not angry, right? We can leave if you want!" Peter's jaw dropped as he turned to Tino.

"We can't go! We just got here! All the way from Stockholm too-" Peter's voice became muffled as Tino's hand covered the child's mouth. Berwald simply watched, having a slight look of pity for Peter.

Tino smiled at Lukas, "So we'll be leaving-"

Lukas raised his hand up, his palm facing Tino. "Stop," he commanded in a gentle voice. Tino did so, blinking in confusion. Lukas shook his head. "I was only worried about an intruder... But you guys showed up instead so it's okay. And, as Peter said... You came here from quite a distance... So stay."

Peter grinned, glancing up at Tino as he spoke in his muffled voice, "See?! He understands!"

Tino held back and sighed, taking his hand off the boy's mouth. Berwald walked off towards the staircase and bent down slightly, holding his hand out to Mathias, who was constantly whining, "He scared me~!" It was enough to have Berwald walk away, making Mathias's whines more audible. Peter laughed loudly, running over and began teasing Mathias by calling him a "Girl" and "Cry-baby".

Lukas sat down on the plump cushioned-couch and gestured Berwald and Tino to sit as well, both doing so.

Tino smiled and broke the silence between them, "So how are things going here? It's been a long time, you know?"

Lukas nodded. "Everything has been busy... With that idiot over there interrupting me from doing my research," he replied while pointing at Mathias, who gave a facile look of sadness.

"Oh, come on! You need to relax some more!" Mathias yelled as he stood up. Peter just stared at Lukas and Mathias as if he was trying to figure something out between them. And Lukas frowned at this. Berwald glared at Lukas for frowning at Peter. Mathias blinked, feeling clueless. Tino laughed awkwardly, looking at everyone in the room nervously.

"Um... Let's eat something, guys! I'll make the food!" he declared in his cheerful voice, trying to lighten the mood. Everyone looked at him enervating him to an almost unhealthy state. Mathias and Peter grinned after some time, making Tino feel better. Peter cheered and said, "It better be my favourite!"

Tino smiled and nodded then looked to Lukas, "Um... Would you lead me to the kitchen?" Lukas blinked then sighed, standing up then walks Tino to the kitchen. Berwald pinched his nose, trying to keep calm. Peter noticed then silently walked up to him, patting his knee. Berwald flinched, removing his hand to see Peter. Peter gave a small smile.

"Uh, Dad? Want to play with me?"

Berwald blinked then smiled back, nodding, "Sure. What do you want to play?" Peter began rambling enthusiastically about "Hide-and-Seek" and other games they could play while Mathias sighed in relief, content with how things were put back together. He grinned, praising himself for all his hard work. Lukas approached him, poking his cheek. Mathias blinked, turning to face Lukas.

"What's up, bro?"

Lukas twitched and handed him a list. "Don't call me 'Bro'. Anyway, here's what Tino needs. Go get it and be quick about it," Lukas muttered.

Mathias pouted then smirked a bit, putting the list in his pocket then leaning to kiss Lukas's cheek, causing Lukas to widen his eyes and blush, "What the hell?!"

Mathias laughed then ran to the front door, opening it quickly as Lukas started chasing him out. "That's for poking my cheek!" Mathias yelled between his chuckles. Lukas growled and stopped running when he reached outside. He glared at Mathias but spotted a vehicle down the street, speeding. He widened his eyes then looked back at Mathias who was running towards the street.

_"No..."_

"Mathias!"

Mathias turned his head to look back at Lukas and stopped running in the middle of the street, frightening Lukas.

"MATHIAS! GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

The deafening tyre screech blocked out Lukas's scream. Mathias turned to the screeching sound, his eyes popping out in absolute fear. Tino, Berwald, and Peter ran behind Lukas to check on what the commotion was. Berwald immediately grabbed the confused Peter and ran inside with him as Tino covered Lukas's eyes. Then a loud thump was heard. Lukas's heart broke at the sound as he struggled against Tino's hold.

Tino's hand slipped off from Lukas's eyes as he stared out on the street in disbelief and heartbreak. He began to run after the vehicle that ran off in guilt of what it had done. Berwald had the noisy Peter's ears covered as he shivered, biting his lip. Lukas was left there, dropping to his knees, mortified at the scenario.

Sirens in the distance...

_"You promised me..."_

A bloody, mangled body...

_"You promised you wouldn't let anything happen..."_

Screams and cries of witnesses...

_"You promised you wouldn't let anything happen to me or our family..."_

And a broken hearted man...

_"Is this what you meant?!"_

**"MATHIAS!"**

* * *

**This is my way of saying goodbye  
Cause I can't do it face to face  
So talking to you after it's too late  
**

**No matter what happens now  
You shouldn't be afraid  
Because I know today has been  
The most perfect day I've ever seen**

* * *

**Author's Note: **I finished it! I told you! The song is _Videotape _by _Radiohead._ And this isn't the end guys. Don't cry yet.


	2. Chapter 2: Re:bellion

They took Mathias away.

The ambulance placed his tattered body into the lorry and closed the doors. All Lukas could do was watch as the sirens once again had screamed into his ears and the lorry drove away. He gasped when someone had picked him up and looked to see it was Tino with a sympathetic face.

"I'm sorry, Lukas. I really am..." he murmured as he carried Lukas to the house. Lukas widened his eyes and struggled, trying to get out of Tino's arms and run. He didn't know where the sirens were taking Mathias. But he could track the sound. It was fading... He must go now.

Tino, however, was making this difficult. He was being held back tightly and Lukas was rampantly kicking his legs at the air, screaming like a child, not caring about the looks sent in his direction.

"Let go! I have to go! LET GO!"

Lukas rammed his knee against Tino's nose, causing the other to drop Lukas and hold his nose while he yelped and cursed loudly. He didn't know whether or not his nose had broke, but it was excruciatingly painful. Lukas met the floor, twitching at the stinging sensation that flowed throughout his body. He stood up and attempted to run away from the sight until he felt something strike the back of his neck hard enough to cut circulation and have him on his knees to darkness. Berwald picked Lukas up, frowning. He understood that his friend was having an emotional crisis, but Berwald wasn't pleased that Tino was hurt in the process of trying to help.

Berwald stared at Tino with worry, "Are you alright?"

Tino rubbed his nose, smiling a bit sheepishly, "I'm fine I guess..." His facial expression changed to one of wonder. "Where's Peter?"

Berwald glanced at the house and then returned his gaze to Tino, "He's inside. I told him not to look."

"Hopefully he didn't."

Berwald nodded slowly then finished the job of carrying Lukas home, making sure Tino was following behind. Tino was walking after him, looking tired and distraught. He couldn't catch up to the perpetrator. The one who ruined everything as of now. What if Peter looked at what had happened and is breaking down? He's only a child and should never experience this at such an age.

What if Lukas's behaviour alters into something far from being able to repair? Well, of course Lukas was usually a nonchalant person, but he can't stay that way after what he witnessed at first hand. And Mathias was special to Lukas. Tino could tell from just watching the two together.

And then there was Berwald... His behaviour would probably stay the same since it is him... However, Berwald and Mathias were close friends ever since they were young.

Tino could tell that he was worried sick. Even if the expression was stolid as always, it was seen in the eyes clear as day. And Tino couldn't blame him. Tino was afraid of the outcome. Mathias might make it. He might not make it. Who knows?

They had to find the hospital and visit him quickly. He thought about bringing Lukas as well.

Tino just wished it wouldn't be the first and last time they'll visit Mathias.

* * *

Lukas woke up, lights flashing and blinding his eyes. He blinked a few times before recalling what he wanted to do. He widened his eyes and sat up quickly.

_"Mathias!"_ he thought as he looked around the room. It was lacking colour. Everything was white, making the light flourish even brighter. It was quite irritating to him. His head was aching and his eyes were straining.

"Oh, you're awake!" called a childish voice. Lukas jumped slightly, turning his head and spotting Peter.

"Peter...?" he murmured. The child stared at him, looking relieved and confused at the same time. "Where am I?" Lukas continued.

Peter blinked then bit his lip, "...We're at the hospital if you couldn't tell. This is the waiting hall."

Lukas looked around again, then returned his gaze to Peter, becoming electrified with hope, "Wait! Does that mean Mathias is here?"

Peter nodded, unaware of what to say. Lukas continued bombarding Peter with questions about his significant friend. The answer he longed for had been answered; the room location. Lukas thanked Peter and bolted down the hall, searching for the room number, leaving the child alone.

Peter's lip trembled, "What have I done...?" he muttered to himself as he watched the figure of Lukas shrink into nothingness.

* * *

_"You are not to look."_

___"Peter... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I couldn't find the one who did the bad thing to Uncle Mathias... He outran me."_

_"Peter, listen to me. I need you to cover your ears and no matter what you do, don't look out the window. Understand?"_

_"Don't tell him where he is. Lukas won't be able to stand it..."_

_"We'll be back, okay? Just wait here with him..."_

**_"And keep him away."_**

Peter's body couldn't stop shaking. This was too much. He failed at it all.

Even though Berwald gave explicit instructions on not to peek outside, Peter couldn't help it. He could hear the screaming. His hands weren't enough no matter how much he placed pressure on his ears. He was worried sick since something had obviously happened. Tino wasn't there to comfort him and Berwald was acting scarier than usual. Peter knew better. He wasn't too oblivious.

Mathias and Lukas were outside so it must have involved them. And that's when Peter gave in completely. What was it like to be an adult? To be grown up? Was it like this? If so, Peter wanted to take the chance to know how it was like to be like the others. To be like his adoptive parents, his older brother who was currently travelling abroad, his "uncle" Mathias and Lukas. He had to see it all from their view. And this certainly was an opportune moment.

Peter uncovered his ears, shaking with adrenaline. The cries were piercing his ears. He knows he shouldn't be doing this but he couldn't resist now! One look outside wouldn't hurt him! Even when he was trying to find solace, he was moving painstakingly slow just to turn from the wall and seek the cause of the commotion from the window.

Peter was hesitant. His nose was near the window. He wasn't ready to dart his eyes to peek. Would his parents hate him for doing this? He didn't want that at all for his own mistake. Peter wouldn't be able to live with himself. He was only twelve. The other children keep talking about how they're all grown up just because they have seen danger in the eye. And danger was outside! This was his chance! Peter knew it now.

The only obstacle was himself. What's going to happen after this? After Peter has looked outside? But Peter wanted to be like his parents. He wanted his parents to be proud, to have esteem in Peter. Because parents love to have early-mature children. Knowing this, he looked outside slowly. There were flashing lights, a crowd of people whispering to each other's ears or covering their mouths in shock, the police, and the ambulance. And in the centre, he saw Lukas and a bloody, mangled body.

His uncle Mathias. The one who played with Peter, read books to Peter, and all those things that his parents couldn't do whenever they were busy, even though Mathias was terrible at it all. Peter appreciated it. Everything was shattered. Peter blinked a couple of times.

_"This is a dream..." _he thought. It was unacceptable. Mathias was strong. He couldn't be taken out! He bragged about it all the time. It just wasn't possible. But after some time, Peter accepted it. And he tried so hard not to shed his tears and hug one of his parents. He needed to make sure that he played along and _did not_ look or hear anything. And it worked when his parents had finally entered again with Lukas being carried to the bedroom.

Deep down, Peter's quintessence had died and he was regretting what he did.

* * *

Peter snapped out of it, seeing that he was still alone in the hallway ever since Lukas had left to search for Mathias's room. Just remembering everything hurt his chest and he choked on a sob. What if his uncle doesn't make it because of what he did? It would all be Peter's fault. He took his fall as an opportunity to see through an adult's eyes.

The boy felt horrible.

_"Is this really what an adult has to go through? If it is, then I don't want to grow up anymore..."_

* * *

**Today is the greatest  
Day I've never known  
Can't wait for tomorrow  
I might not have that long  
I'll tear my heart out  
Before I get out**

**Pink ribbon scars**  
**That never forget**  
**I tried so hard**  
**To cleanse these regrets**  
**My angel wings**  
**Were bruised and restrained**  
**My belly stings**

* * *

**Author's**** Note:** I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping up with my updates. ;w; Finals Week is nearby. The song is _Today_ by _The Smashing Pumpkins._


	3. Chapter 3: Re:silience

Lukas kept running, ignoring the nurses who shrieked and bellowed at him to stop. Mathias's room had to be close by. Along the way, he heard Tino's voice behind him along with the nurses'. Even Tino wasn't going to stop him. It only motivated Lukas to run faster. There it was at last...

The room number on a silver plaque stuck to the door. Lukas reached for the doorknob and twisted it without hesitation, pulling the door. He saw that the room was all white. And he saw three doctors with their white coats. The doctors surrounded the area of the hospital bed, blocking any sign of it being Mathias. Lukas stared at them, the doctors returning the stare. He was hoping that one of them would move so that he could be cured from his curiosity.

One of the doctors stepped up, "Is there a reason you barged in here? If not, we must ask you to leave," he warned. Lukas glared at him, making the doctor frown.

"...How is he?" Lukas murmured.

The doctor blinked then turned to look at him co-workers, whose faces became dark as they looked down at their feet.

"...We did all we could, really."

Lukas's eyes widened. He felt that his heart was beating slower. He swallowed hard.

"What do you mean you did all you could...? Is that the best you can do?! I wonder how many people have asked for assistance in a place like this if you can't do your fucking jobs right!" Lukas sneered, walking towards the doctors threateningly, causing them to back away from the bed. Lukas's storm of rage stopped when he saw Mathias up close.

He had a peaceful smile on his face. It was like a picture. A beautiful picture. Nothing was moving. Lukas seemed like he was under a spell. His feet were moving on their own towards the bed. As he came closer, he just hoped to see the other's chest rising, sinking, rising, sinking. And nothing was moving. Everything was perfectly still. In its _right _place. But this wasn't right.

Mathias had to be breathing somehow. All was disregarded. The skin was pale and white as the hospital. The body started losing warmth so he felt cold. Lukas didn't want to believe it. To accept it. He started shaking him slightly, trying to make the other wake up.

"Mathias... Get up. Open your eyes. Even a little bit. Come on...!" Lukas started using more force on him, the other's upper body flopping about like he was a ragdoll. Two of the doctors tried to restrain Lukas, but the doctor in charge ordered them not to and lead them outside, leaving Lukas alone in the room.

"Wake up! This has to be some kind of joke or prank of yours, right?! **Right?!**"

Lukas's vision was blurring due to the tears building up in his eyes. He refused to let them fall, even when they were beginning to spill. He couldn't stand how Mathias looked happy. What was there to be happy about? What was there to smile about after death?

Lukas began sobbing, burying his face in Mathias's chest. It was cold.

So very cold. The more he felt all the signs of the other not being alive, the more he choked up. His chest was in knots.

It hurt so much.

_"Death is nothing to cry about Lukas. It's a thing everyone goes through. If someone cries over a death, it's only because of their own selfishness getting to them. They can't bear to live on their own if the person provides their need. That is how the human mind works. And you, Lukas, are independent. You need no one. And no one needs you. If they do, then so be it! Leave them! Let them go!"_

Lukas suppressed his tears and sobs, staring down at the body, "He should still be breathing... See? I can hear him breathe. Even his chest is rising a bit. Those doctors did something useful... I don't see why everyone was overreacting... He's okay after all. You're okay Mathias." Lukas smiled.

Lukas's eyelids began sinking closed. The many hours of sleep he hadn't gained as well as the emotional stress were finally taking a toll on him. He dropped onto Mathias's body, feeling the knots throughout his body unwind from comfort and relief. Mathias was alright. Even his body was warm... _To Lukas_.

* * *

**Stand up**  
** You've got to manage**  
** I won't sympathise**  
** Anymore**

**And if you complain once more**  
** You'll meet an army of me**

** You're alright**  
** There's nothing wrong**  
** Self-sufficience please!**  
** And get to work**

* * *

**Author's**** Note:** Short chapter is short. I'm very sorry... I had work and mid-term exams... I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAAAA-EE-AAA-AAND. OuO Sorry. Song is _Army of Me _by _Bjork._ I'll make the next chapter longer and better since stuff has calmed down.


End file.
